


My Bones Crushed to Dust

by wisepuma23



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anger, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Did I mention angst, Gen, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Insecurity, Light Angst, Selfishness v. Selflessness Spoilers, Spoilers, Virgil is Terrible at Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisepuma23/pseuds/wisepuma23
Summary: Roman takes a moment to reflect on his decision. Whether he regrets it or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that Thomas is happy. But is he really? Truly? He sacrificed his own happiness so Thomas could sit playing words with Friends as the Wedding March plays. Alone. Roman wants to scream but his throat is sealed with the threat ofhonor.Spoilers for the new video!!





	My Bones Crushed to Dust

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** Angst, Slight Violence, Spoilers to SvS (new video)
> 
>  **Notes:** Oh my god I loved this new video so much and I NEED to write something for it or I’m going to literally die of excitement. AAAHHHHHH!!!! But I need to write some goddamn Roman ANGST if it kills me and this video had buckets of it.

Roman fiddled with the empty Butterfingers wrapper, the noise loud in the common room. No one else was awake. He kept crinkling it and smoothing it out, over and over again. Something to do with his hands he supposed. Better than focusing on how tears stung at the edge of his eyes. The heavy weight in his chest. He did something _good_ today but why did it feel so _bad_ too?

And that smooth scaly smirk haunted him. All sharp teeth and oozing confidence, Deceit had one hell of an act. But was it? Roman tore a corner away from the yellow wrapping. Maybe Deceit didn’t have to walk the walk or talk the talk, he had more true confidence than the prince himself. His words, his posture, even his damn _gloves_ moved like a spell.

Roman wiped at his eyes.

He wanted to help Deceit. A snake in the grass but one on _his_ side. The callback for an important movie wouldn’t be in the Florida suburbs. Nay! It would be out in the city. Maybe even a few _states_ away! An audition so crucially important for his hopes and dreams! But...he remembered the way Thomas pinched his eyebrows.

Crumpled in his witness stand like a man on death row.

Roman tore another piece and watched it flutter to the floor. The yellow wrapper held delicate as a flower in his hands. Ripped, _broken_ , nothing. What did it matter? Logan wanted the healthier option, enchiladas. Not just that! But left only 0.5% for hopes and dreams on his so-called impeccable priority pie chart! Easily swept away to the wayside. Patton made it clear that when it came down to the wire, Thomas’ _friends_ mattered.

More yellow foil drifted onto the soft carpet like petals. Drip. More tears dropped on the floor. He could hardly see his own empty hands. No more Butterfingers. The chocolate rotting in the trash. The wrapper torn to shreds. Roman covered his face with his hands as he shuddered. Cold tears dripped through his fingers as the dam opened. The maw of emptiness within opened wider like a wound.

He told them he’d be **_crushed_** if they didn’t get the callback.

“Roman?”

He flinched and swiped at his eyes, “Sorry, sorry, pretend you didn’t see anything.”

“Why would I? Dude, you’re crying,” Virgil sat next to him on the couch, “So what’s like...up? Okay you know I’m _not_ good at this stuff, shut up.”

Roman took in a rattling wet breath, forcing himself to calm down, “It’s okay. I’m okay. Don’t worry about me, Hot Topic.”

“Boo lame,” Virgil shoved at his shoulder, “No I’m serious. What’s wrong?”

“It’s just-” Roman looked away, “You’ll judge me. Thomas and Patton already did and let me tell you that was no _cake walk_. Despite being the judger myself.”

Virgil sucked in air through his teeth, “Damn. You...you’re upset about Thomas’ sentence. Like really upset. Right?”

“I know you _don’t_ want to go,” Roman said, head snapping over to him, “Neither does Thomas. Logan even wrote the _damn thing_ on the calendar! The one time!” Roman clutched Virgil’s jacket like a life preserver, “The _one fucking time_ we both agreed on something, Logan and I. And I had to go throw it away.”

Roman yanked Virgil closer, eyes blurry with tears and rage, “Because I care. I care so much about my honor, my valor, but where does it get me?” Virgil clutched his wrists in a desperate grip, “Nothing. We’re still here at the beginning. No callback for us.”

Virgil swallowed back a thick lump. The poor man looked more out of his depth than a mermaid in Kansas. Roman searched his dark eyes for answers. Hope, salvation, or even sympathy. The clouds of fear instead clouded his former enemy’s eyes. Oh, _Virgil._ Roman wanted to laugh at the bitter irony. Some protector of Thomas.

Virgil couldn’t save Thomas from himself.

“Roman, our friends matter more than our ambitions,” Virgil said, his voice thick with pity, “Logan might be right after all, you’re a Slytherin through and through. Which isn’t bad!” Roman whimpered, “They’re not evil. It’s just that...we’re an empathetic soul. I really don’t think Thomas has the heart to turn down the wedding. And his friends would hate us!”

Roman’s mouth thinned, “Yeah, his _heart_ made sure of that.”  

“You gave Thomas the sentence himself, so what gives?”

“It doesn’t surprise me you’re on _his_ side,” Roman said more acidic than he intended, “Three out of five sides agreed on this! But nooo! Patton had to-” He bit back his tongue at the icy drop in the room, “I’m just _saying_ that you two are so wrapped up in each other that you don’t even notice us anymore! Your logic, your dreams, even our deceitful self-preservation!”

“Don’t talk about him!” Virgil snarled, shoving Roman’s grip back as he loomed.

“What?” Roman knew he had to stop talking himself into a hole, “Him? Deceit? What is he, your ex-boyfriend you still have feelings for?!”

**_SLAP!_ **

Roman’s cheek stung. Shadows danced on the walls, the curtains pulled themselves closed. Shit. He cut off the hysterical laugh that threatened to bubble up. Anxiety. Long time no see. His shoulders shook with muffled sobs as the pain smarted. Idiot. Damn fool. He let his mouth run off again.

“I-I didn’t mean,” Virgil started to say, the shadows drawing back.

“No, you did,” Roman said, flinching back from Virgil’s outstretched hand, “Stop it. You won today. Now Thomas and I will have to sit there _single_ and lonely. And probably cry ourselves to sleep later.”

“He won’t--”

“Virgil, you’re his fears, stop lying,” Roman clutched his cheek as he stood up, “I’m going to bed. Sorry, too…” He walked up the stairs then paused to look at Virgil, “Tell Patton congrats on winning his case, he tried his best.”

He closed his bedroom door behind him.

True to his promise, Thomas cried himself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> WHEEWWWWW ROMAN ANGST LET'S GO!!!
> 
> *choo choooo*
> 
> leave some kudos and comments about how painful this made you feel :D!


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